You are so welcome, and I am very happy to hear that. Kudos for being brave for your children!
BTW, I run a group coaching program, where I lead topical discussions integrating multiple healing modalities, and the ladies also help each other through experience sharing. All of us have suffered abuse in the past or dealing with it currently. If you're interested, here's the link: https://lifeisloveschool.com/become-a-member
The best article I’ve ever read about this. I just sent it to a bunch of close friends to help explain ME. Will also send to my therapist who doesn’t grasp this at all.
Thank you thank you for shedding light on this brutal topic. You just helped me immensely.
You are welcome Kalie, and best wishes to you. I'm now leading a group coaching workshop for women. If you're interested in checking it out, here's the info: https://lifeisloveschool.com/become-a-member
This describes a toxic friendship I had perfectly. She even tried to literally parent me despite only being a year older than me. But no matter how hard I tried, I was never going to be better than drugs, and certainly never good enough for her. I wish I’d been in a place to search for these kinds of resources sooner. If you found this that means you’ve probably seen enough to know you need to get out.
Sorry to hear that you went through what you did, and glad you got out! I moved to YT, and here's a related video I did on why people get stuck in toxic relationships, in case it's helpful: https://youtu.be/RdcGHKaNc44
You cannot unsee what you see. That you are aware means you are on your way out. If you falter on your way out, pick yourself up and try again. For most of us, it takes several tries before we finally make it out for good. Be kind to yourself. Every time you try, you gain experience.
This makes so much sense I have been blaming myself for years and feel really stupid that I still love my ex even after 7 years of leaving the relationship and can't move on although he has years ago .
How you feel is very common, so hang in there. It usually takes a few tries before one can permanently leave a relationship for good, so if you falter, pick yourself up and try again when you're ready.
I am doing a FB live today on breaking the trauma bond. Feel free to join us and ask questions in real-time! The link to our FB page is in the link below:
Oh man I'm in trouble. But I will read your article and look up all sources mentioned. I heard about coersive control and abuse only a couple of days ago. Do you have some hints on books we should read?
Sorry for the delay! I moved to lifeisloveschool.com so I no longer check out the comments on a regular basis. If you're still looking for help, I opened a group coaching program for women, and you can find it on the website too.
Thank you, maybe I will put together a book some day. I learned these things from my own healing experience, and reading/listening to a lot of different thing. If I were to suggest one thing, check out Tim Fletcher's talks on YouTube. His series on complex trauma is very good.
I have been in a 7yr long emotionally abusive relationship. I found this because like the topic at hand, I am missing my abuser after going no contact. This was very validating to read as this is what I've learned to remind myself daily. You couldn't have written this any better. Thank you.
Hi Everyone, I am on YT now, and I share contents on healing trauma. Please join me, and share comments. I always love hearing from you! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC69CRah1H_RjfMXyNPzl_dw
You just saved me & my 4 children, 9 months, 7, 11, 17. A million billion thank you's for sharing this.
You are so welcome, and I am very happy to hear that. Kudos for being brave for your children!
BTW, I run a group coaching program, where I lead topical discussions integrating multiple healing modalities, and the ladies also help each other through experience sharing. All of us have suffered abuse in the past or dealing with it currently. If you're interested, here's the link: https://lifeisloveschool.com/become-a-member
The best article I’ve ever read about this. I just sent it to a bunch of close friends to help explain ME. Will also send to my therapist who doesn’t grasp this at all.
Thank you thank you for shedding light on this brutal topic. You just helped me immensely.
Thank you, Hesther, for your comment.
I write to alleviate suffering, and your feedback means a lot to me — my best wishes to you on your healing journey.
This is so amazing I thank you so much for writing it, I really needed to hear it.
You are welcome Kalie, and best wishes to you. I'm now leading a group coaching workshop for women. If you're interested in checking it out, here's the info: https://lifeisloveschool.com/become-a-member
An excellent article, how did you get so smart?
You're too kind. I experienced abuse first hand, so I am very motivated to understand why people do what they do
This describes a toxic friendship I had perfectly. She even tried to literally parent me despite only being a year older than me. But no matter how hard I tried, I was never going to be better than drugs, and certainly never good enough for her. I wish I’d been in a place to search for these kinds of resources sooner. If you found this that means you’ve probably seen enough to know you need to get out.
Sorry to hear that you went through what you did, and glad you got out! I moved to YT, and here's a related video I did on why people get stuck in toxic relationships, in case it's helpful: https://youtu.be/RdcGHKaNc44
And this one on how to heal a broken heart: https://youtu.be/fnGRnEVhOpI
This is helping me right now as I’m sitting bruised up bleeding wanting to return to him. Thank you. 💔
You cannot unsee what you see. That you are aware means you are on your way out. If you falter on your way out, pick yourself up and try again. For most of us, it takes several tries before we finally make it out for good. Be kind to yourself. Every time you try, you gain experience.
BTW, I am on YT now, and there's several videos on this topic. https://www.youtube.com/c/LifeIsLoveSchool/videos
thank you so much for writing this.
You are so welcome! I am on YT now in case you'd like more contents like this. XO https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC69CRah1H_RjfMXyNPzl_dw
This makes so much sense I have been blaming myself for years and feel really stupid that I still love my ex even after 7 years of leaving the relationship and can't move on although he has years ago .
How you feel is very common, so hang in there. It usually takes a few tries before one can permanently leave a relationship for good, so if you falter, pick yourself up and try again when you're ready.
I am doing a FB live today on breaking the trauma bond. Feel free to join us and ask questions in real-time! The link to our FB page is in the link below:
https://linktr.ee/lifeisloveschool
The links to ”Sunk Costs Fallacy” and "my reflection after a painful divorce" give page not found...
Thank you for letting me know! I am no longer in substack and all articles are posted at lifeisloveschool.com now.
Oh man I'm in trouble. But I will read your article and look up all sources mentioned. I heard about coersive control and abuse only a couple of days ago. Do you have some hints on books we should read?
Sorry for the delay! I moved to lifeisloveschool.com so I no longer check out the comments on a regular basis. If you're still looking for help, I opened a group coaching program for women, and you can find it on the website too.
Wow,reading this article now love it is there a book of this like this article?
Thank you, maybe I will put together a book some day. I learned these things from my own healing experience, and reading/listening to a lot of different thing. If I were to suggest one thing, check out Tim Fletcher's talks on YouTube. His series on complex trauma is very good.
Thanks!
Thankyou 💕👄💋
You are welcome.
This is a fabulous article. Thank you!
Thank for the compliment Gerlinde!
I like this article. It was filled with information that I have and will apply to my life. Thank you!
I am so glad to hear that. Knowledge is power. Rooting for you!
I have been in a 7yr long emotionally abusive relationship. I found this because like the topic at hand, I am missing my abuser after going no contact. This was very validating to read as this is what I've learned to remind myself daily. You couldn't have written this any better. Thank you.